Stupid Comics

Invention Company isn't a really original name for a company, but one of their offerings got its own comic ad around 1943., Just as everyone was enthralled with WWII, what better time is there to get people into the obscure pastime of signal flags? The ad itself is for a pair of telescopes labeled Wonderscope, but the headline is you get a pair of wigwags and an Authentic Code Instruction. The whole set would be around $75 in today's economy, but even with a five-day free trial it's still pretty steep. Now, these items might be helpful if you're regularly involved in planes or boats, but the ad takes a crooked approach by stating the Wonderscope could be used for using it as secret code with your neighborhood buddies. Were things that boring back then that people had to waste hard cash so a pair of dorks could gab about each other in their own hidden little dialogue? They could've just shared notes in class instead of plunking out a huge wad for their juvenile subur...

Wally Wood was one of the quintessential Good Girl artists, but he was equally good with doing Bad Girls, even before they became popular decades later in the 90s. So, imagine an entire army of Bad Girls in space and you get one kinky caper. Kenton Of The Space Patrol was originally created by John Michel and designed by Joe Kubert who first premiered in the pages of Avon Periodicals' Strange Worlds sci-fi anthology comic, and Issue 5 had Wally Wood draw one of his wackiest tales. Set in the mid-38th Century, Dave Kenton was part of the venerated Star Patrol which despite the name are not traffic cops on rocket cycles, and one damsel he frequently had to rescue was the part-time bellydancer/part-time news reporter Maeve Malloy who he had given a special jewel to so she could signal him like she was Jimmy Olsen calling Superman with his stupid watch. Maeve just happened to be on the space luxury liner President which is attacked by half-naked women in big bubbles that use a sonic de...

Wanna save some money this holiday season? Then invest a good dollar in the cheapest Christmas swag you'll ever see. This ad ran in the comics during the 1950s and it tried to make a set of 76 glowing in the dark ornaments seem like it was the greatest holiday deal since Black Friday. There was no business name given for these plastic cut-outs you staple to your Christmas tree and would only light up for a few minutes after you turn the lights off. Sure, you avoid having to get through those jumbled wads of Christmas lights, but no one could see them when it gets dark, so your neighbors will think that you're just being a Grinch by not shoving an entire yard's worth of electric ballyhoo in their faces. You get a special rush coupon to make sure you get these lame doodads before Christmas, although it doesn't seem worth it unless you were operating under a very low budget that even Scrooge's employees would laugh at.

Judy Of The Jungle was Better Publications' own little knockoff of Sheena, created by Ralph Mayo and was featured in Exciting Comics. Judy wasn't raised by apes like other jungle heroes, but instead by her father who was a naturalist that lived in the African wilds, and once he was killed Judy went on a vendetta against anyone who threaten her domain, sort of like a female Punisher. Judy had no powers or enhanced abilities, just good healthy outdoor living and a talent for communicating with some her animal friends, plus she had an adventurer boyfriend called Pistol Roberts who backed her up with a loaded gun. Judy's adversaries were the normal brand of jungle baddies like treasure hunters and lost city dwellers, but in one case drawn by Art Saaf she went after the one thing she hate's most of all, furries! A geologist discovers diamonds in a mine and then his family are attacked by the Leopard Queen, another white lady wearing a skimpy catskin outfit, along with her tr...

H. And S. Sales Co. truly stepped into it when they ran this ad in comic books during the 50s, and these were comic books intended for children. The ad is for their All-In-One Cigarette Lighter and Full-Pack Case that comes with personalized engraving in 23 karat gold, supposedly because they were out of 24 karat gold at the time, and for $1.98 isn't it a bad deal considering it would be about $28 today. The problem is a good portion of the comics this ad was shown in were meant for kids, and each ad had its own separate message letting readers know that it was an introductory offer for that particular issue. Some of the comics for the lighter were adventure comics for more mature kids like Western Fighters, Space Detective, and Rulah: Jungle Goddess. The fork in the road is the ads they had done for comics that were specifically aimed at toddlers, mostly from Ziff-Davis Publishing with kid-friendly titles like The Teenie-Weenies. What really kills it is that the little comic strip...

For someone who only had two appearances, Yankee Girl surpassed her meager run to being one of the most identified good girls in comics. The superheroine first appeared in Dynamic Comics issue 23 from IW Publications in 1947, the series itself was an imprint from Canada's Superior Publishers. She didn't show up again until 1964 in Danger Comics issue 16 from Super Comics which was also an imprint of Comic Media and drawn by Miss Masque artist Ralph Mayo in the 50s but didn't see daylight until a decade later. There was a character labeled Yankee Girl that came out before this from 1941, but she was really an adventurer named Kitty Kelly who sometimes wore a superhero-themed outfit. The genuine Yankee Girl was Lauren Mason, a socialite who had the ability to gain superpowers whenever she said the phrase Yankee Doodle Dandy. How she gained these powers, which included super-strength, flight, and durability, is never revealed, although it's obvious to see that they copied ...