Stupid Comics

Anyone who went to school in the 70s-80s might be familiar with McGraw Hill Inc. with all the stock educational short films they churned out, but one of their other branches has been running ads in comics for decades. The National Radio Institute started out in 1914 and was in business for 88 years teaching spry youngsters how to be a radiotician which advertised their thriving business in comic books, especially from the 40s-60s with ever-changing pitches for each generation. The founder James Ernest Smith appeared in nearly every ad where he would either be commanding you to join their institute like Uncle Sam for the US Army, others were a little more subtle where he says that "I will train you at home," like he was literally going to show up at your front door and give you a private lesson then hang around to sign autographs. One of the earlier NRI ads which ran in pulp magazines had James claiming that working in radio is "almost romance", although how romantic...

There were quite a few female aviators during the Golden Age, but one of the few to actually have their own semi-secret identity was Black Venus. Captain Midnight artist Charles Tomsey was the original creator of the pretty pilot who went through many redesigns in her short stint from Aviation Press' Contact Comics which ran for the first nine issues. Starting off in Burma in WWII, USO hostess Mary Roche dances with the pilots, but when its closing time she goes to her secret hangar and changes clothes to be the leg bearing Black Venus who sets off in her fighter plane to take down the nearby Japanese forces. Mary didn't wear a mask or anything in her alter ego but put a hot lady in a tight or revealing outfit and your average onlooker seems to block out their secret identity. Her second adventure had an even skimpier outfit more resembling a leather bar leader as she took down the cross-dressing Agent X. In her third story, Black Venus moved to Australia and began wearing the ...

Leader Enterprises, also known as Universal Phoenix Features, had a brief time as a comic book publisher starting in 1946. Since this was post WWII, most of their content was adventure and comedy titles. One anthology was Seven Seas Comics telling tales of pirates, sea voyages, and the compelling Tugboat Tessie, plus a character featured in each issue was South Sea Girl who was created by graphic novel progenitor Manning Lee Stokes and drawn by the groundbreaking black artist Matt Baker who most comics fans are familiar with his cheesecake style on characters like Phantom Lady and Tiger Girl. The title character of these tropical tales was Alani who was referred to as South Sea Girl because white tourists weren't very good at remembering the names of natives in the South Pacific. Taking place in the Vanishing Isles, Alani wasn't just some island princess who only knew how to do the hula, but was in fact the queen of her people and very knowledgeable of the outer world who had d...

Honor House strikes again. The dispensers of x-ray specs, wrist radios, sea monkeys, and nuclear mini-subs also tried to sell this totally unnecessary bicycle accessory. Honor House Production Corp. created a half-page ad for a scant few comics during the Silver Age that was supposed to fit most of your average bikes at the time, a full-sized windshield that you could get for only a dollar. Intended to be a wind deflector for the casual neighborhood bike rider, this transparent vinyl layered bird poop projector was made with modern "trampoline construction" which would be great if you were using a trampoline and not buying this flimsy thing. Intended to act similar to a windshield for motorcycles, this one for bikes comes only with a pair of brittle clamps to hold it in place, even though it does have the bonus of a pouch in case you wanted to keep your car keys in it. There's a 10-day free trial, but no word if you get your quarter for shipping back. The ad claims the wi...

Before his Wizard King Trilogy, Wally Wood had another otherworldly outing in a one-shot story from the first issue of Captain Science by Youth Publications which was one of their few sci-fi titles as they specialized in westerns. In a story not connected to the title character, Wood's The Monster God Of Rogor has archeologist Tayne Whitney investigating the markings on an ancient crystal orb which transports him to strange realm of Banthu, like all crystal balls are known to do. This mysterious land is ran by the luscious high priestess Maryl and the inhabitants see Tayne as your standard savior sent from another world to light their darkest hour. The ones threatening the lively Banthu lifestyle are the forces of Rogor, a monster god whose priests shove their doctrine into those who don't give generously to their chosen deity. Rogor's main rep is Sek, a frog-faced freak who doesn't buy into Banthu's messiah prophecy, and leaves Tayne alone in a cell with Maryl wher...

Triumph Comics, also called Triumph Adventure Comics, was published in Canada by Hillborough Studios in 1941. Most comic historians are familiar with their premiere character of Nelvanna of the Northern Lights who was the first Canadian superheroine, but they also managed to have one of those, "we're too lazy to finish the artwork, so you do it for us" drawing contests. Once Bell Features bought out Hillborough, they changed the title to just Triumph Comics, and one of their ads was for a free event where they drew out the bodies of three separate characters but expected the rank amateurs to fill in the rest. The characters were supposedly a flamboyant sailor, a standard comics good girl, and person of short stature who most would probably picture as being a food mascot or a Mr. Monopoly clone. While the effort put into this is minimal, it included ripping out a page from a Golden Age comic book and sending it to the publisher which critically devalues the price for any f...