The Electronic Man has nothing on the bogus nature of the Monster Robot! This ad that plagued Bronze Age comics allowed some huge sucker of a kid fall for wasting a solid buck so you could get plans to make your own giant 7 ft. walking, as well as flashing, Monster Robot. Not just a robot, but a "Monster Robot"! What the difference between a regular robot and a Monster Robot is an unknown crapshoot, possibly because it's powered by the essence of dead vampires. This offer put out by the mysterious Melton Co. or Guarantee Co. which either had an office in Florida or Illinois allowed some real suckers with the high-tech specs of crafting together their own life-size robot costume that was billed as being terrifying. Anyone whose been to enough comic conventions has probably seen a cosplayer whose entire ensemble is a either a bunch of cereal boxes taped together to be low budget Iron Man, or an intricately crafted creation that makes them look like a living Lego figure, but the mechanical masquerade this miserable mess is claiming looks like something out of an Ed Wood film. The final product is supposed to allow the operator to move around in their soft armor which would totally not repel raindrops in any given way and somehow move the limbs in a way similar to what Sigourney Weaver wore in Aliens, except it completely covers the driver, so how they could see out of the walking popcorn box is in itself an enigma. Said to be usable inside and outside, it's hard to see any situation where a 7 ft. tall costume could fit into someone's kitchen door unless it had a convertible top. The largest question mark is if the proposed Glow-In-Dark Eyes work because that implies that the child putting this together would need at least a basic knowledge of electronics to set this up as one can only imagine that it would be battery-powered and not hooked up to a wall socket. The ad implies that you could have loads of fun puting this huge movie prop together from recycled rubbish, but would any sensible parent want their child roaming around the neighbor's trash cans scanning for suitable pieces of garbage that would fit the bill for their duct taped together nightmare? If like the ad says that you want to scare your friends and family walking towards them inside this Forbidden Planet reject costume, you would be better off just showing them The Texas Chainsaw Massacre at least for a couple of good slasher flick laughs. The sad part is, according to most reports, the plans you would send away for supposedly never reached any of its dupable patrons, making a lot of youngsters sadder than a kid only getting socks for Christmas.
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