Higher Dimensions Ignore Halloran

The Silver Age sci-fi stories from Adventures Into The Unknown reached a peak with their 100th issue, but their strange tale of Nothing Ever Happens To Halloran really stretched the limits of poking the paranormal. This 5-page story features Joey Halloran is just another disgruntled teenage ginger from the 1950s that thinks that great things only happen to other people, even though he's never asked his peer gingers like Archie or Jimmy Olsen whose lives are a constant whirlwind of insane circumstances. At school, Joey is given the assignment to report the wonders he encounters on an average walk to school the next day. Conveniently, two explorers from the 12th Dimension happen to come across Joey on his way even though they were invisible to him. The duo tries bringing Joey back to their dimension, but they only succeed in bringing a projection of him almost like a ghost, which would've been nice if he were more corporeal because then he'd notice the hot space chicks trying to make out with him, but he was totally oblivious to getting ravished by leggy alien co-eds. The two meddling scientists try to boost Joey's intelligence, even though they decide to leave him as he normally is but send him back with some platinum bricks in his backpack so he could be rich. Joey reemerges fully in his own dull dimension and dumps the load of precious metals in a river believing them to be just junk and tells his teacher that nothing happened to him during his whole trip, at least so he believed. If smartass eggheads from higher planes of reality would try to calibrate their interdimensional contraptions to be a touch more material so they could bless lesser beings with their futuristic swag is the real lesson to be learned instead of appreciating the "little things in life".